Saturday, October 15, 2011
The Art of Apologizing
I still felt myself wanting to be inflexible, digging my heels in and pouting because all my hard work was ruined... as if rescheduling to a different day really ruined anything. As a matter of fact, because of the rescheduling of things, I actually ended up having practically the whole day to myself. I was feeling better from the stomach bug I'd had the day before, Rishi had planned a big morning out with Anjali, since I was supposed to be moving my mom and then now, I didn't even have to do that anymore!! What was I gaining by staying so irritated at this whole situation and at my mom? As I was driving to a coffee shop to get some work done, I realized what a jerk I'd been to my mom, again! Those of you who know me, and most of you do, know that I've got some issues with being nice to my mom. I'm fully aware of them, but completely out of control with them.
One thing I've learned over the years is how excruciatingly significant and utterly beautiful apologizing can be, not only for the person who received the wrong doing but especially for the person who's done the wrong doing. I think I learned to apologize at a much older age than most people and still sometimes find it to be one of the most difficult things to do but when I do it, and I try to do every time I 'should,' I remember how simple it really is and then that magical sensation of calmness comes from having humbled myself away from the arrogant, inflexible person that desires to brood in her corner and into a person who takes responsibility for what she's done and recognizes when she's done it and then let's the other person know. I have been the victim of having someone very close to me, in the past, who would lash out and almost never apologize. Being treated this way is no fun and can make one feel a little alienated and crazy. The apology definitely doesn't excuse the "undesirable" behavior, but it does help heal the hurt it has caused! And both "sides" are hurt, so both sides get to heal when those simple words pass from one's mouth. I know it helped me today and I hope it helped my mom.
Breathe. Smile. Apologize. Recognize. Energize!
The picture for this post is from Juan Gnecco's profile on Free Digital Photos.