Tuesday, November 5, 2013


Transitions for some are scary, overwhelming and hard work. Others seem to float effortlessly from one transition to another, like a crimson leaf floating from its branch.  And then there are those that fall somewhere in between - some transitions are easy, others take a bit more effort.

Regardless of how we handle them, transitions - or change - are inevitable! This time of year, autumn, is perfect for looking within to study our inner workings, the "how" of who we are.  Everything around us is changing.  The glorious colors of the leaves, the animals scurrying around for acorns, kids back in school, holidays of all faiths and temperatures cooling off.  We can look within at our own inner workings not for judgement or making ourselves feel the need to be different, but for understanding. With this kind of deep looking we can gain an insight into how we work, our own process so that when we are confronted with a transition, big or small, we can be prepared for how we might handle it.  And often times, when we look deeply like this, changes within naturally occur. 

When looking inward, we can take note of the following:
  1. Thoughts - what thoughts are present 
  2. Feelings - what are the emotions present
  3. Body sensations - what kind of physical reaction do I get and where in the body
  4. Logic - what does the pragmatic side say
  5. Gut instinct - what is intuition saying
These five aspects are perfect for making decisions but also work wonders just as an exercise in getting to know ourselves, who we are and how we function in the day to day.

As the windy, cool weather comes we may feel pushed to move forward fast and furious with events, kids, friends, family while we may also notice a heavier, slower, snuggle-on-the-couch energy creeping in.  I've written this post about how to keep yourself balanced as this season progresses and now we can take stock of how we are transitioning by looking within. 

Breathe. Smile. Look. Transition.

The photo for this post is from James Barker on Free Digital Photos.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Restore, Renew, Repair and Try again

Ok, y'all know how I am. I disappear for a while and then boom, here I am again!  Looking back, last I wrote I still had babe number 2 on the inside.  My oh my, having two really changes things and puts a completely new meaning to "slowing down" and being "mindful."  I'm still trying to figure out how with these two munchkins who offer me multiple opportunities a day to learn.  I don't think physically slowing down is always an option with little ones running around but  mentally slowing down, being mindful, looking deeply and speaking lovingly are possible. Possible but very challenging to actually do when triggered. And small children sure know how to trigger.

Since little Miss N was born last September, I have made numerous mistakes in my interactions with Miss A, who's now almost 4.  Mistakes that leave me wondering, "Who am I?" "What is going on in me to cause this type of reaction? "How can I repair what I've said/done?"  "What do I need in order to feel taken care of?"

I try to remember how Thich Nhat Hanh puts it, every morning we have twenty-four brand new hours before us.

“Waking up this morning, I smile. Twenty-four brand new hours are before me. I vow to live fully in each moment and to look at all beings with eyes of compassion.”

I can start over again and try to do it differently tomorrow.

Usually when Miss A is acting out, she's either hungry or tired.  Two things that have simple solutions but solutions that are impossible to force on children.  And believe me, the controlling side of me has tried to force, with very little success.   When I have succeeded in forcing her to eat or sleep, I believe that in that moment, I've sent her the wrong message about how to achieve what I want.

In the moments that I find myself feeling intolerant of her normal 3 year old behavior and behave poorly myself, I know that it's time for me to restore and renew.  In doing so, I repair my own suffering/pain and I pick myself up by the boot straps and I just try again.  Sometimes I am met with an angry little girl who wants to give me a taste of my own medicine and other times she so tenderly tells me how she felt in the situation and we hug and kiss.  What an amazing teacher she is and I'm pretty certain her ever smiling little sister has a full lesson plan for me too!

Breathe. Restore. Smile. Renew. Be Kind!