Judgement

I am often amazed at the little voice in my head and how negative and surprisingly judgemental it can be.  That little voice is our self talk, that which we are often not even fully aware of and even less in control of.   Many, if not most, of us are engaging in frequent negative self talk that often involves judging ourselves based on millions of preconceived ideas we have for how we are supposed to be.

During one of those 70 degree November days we had a few weeks back, I decided not to sit at my computer during Anjali's nap but rather to go out and clear our vegetable garden of the falling leaves.  And it took me the majority of the time that I was out there to finally stop pointing out in my head all the things that weren't good enough about the garden, the way I planted the seeds, how it was growing, how I could be tending to it better.  And then I looked around our back yard, and the judgement went on and on... and instead of simply noticing all these things, for example that there were millions of leaves everywhere that needed to be cleaned up or that I could take better care of the rest of the yard, make it look nicer.  Instead of simply being aware of these things, there was a negative, judgemental gremlin attached to every thought I had and everything I noticed.  The lack of landscaping, the weeds that have taken over the yard, the toys strune about.  Those of you who know us, know that our yard, especially the back yard, tends to be pretty low on our list of priorities.  Long story short, the things that I noticed were not really the "problem" but the judgement carried with it could become one.  We have chosen to focus our time, attention and energy on other things and we do not want to use chemicals to kill weeds, so our yard doesn't look nearly as nice as others.  But the birds come and hunt their worms, the squirrels eat our acorns and the chipmunks scurry about too!  But I still judge myself!

Luckily, after getting my hands in the dirt and really giving the plants lots of love, the clutches of negativity and judgement began to soften and finally release and I really began to relax and be present with all the beautiful life that surrounded me.  The lovely green plants that we cultivated and have allowed to thrive.  I noticed the beautiful blue sky and soft clouds floating by... all things I wouldn't have noticed if I'd kept myself locking in my negative self talk.

Positive affirmations are key to reversing any negative self talk.  Meditation helps us to become aware of it.  Love, Nature, Kindness also help!

Breathe.  Affirm.  Soften.  Let go!

The photo for this post is from africa's profile on Free Digital Photos.