Transitions

Transitions for some are scary, overwhelming and hard work. Others seem to float effortlessly from one transition to another, like a crimson leaf floating from its branch.  And then there are those that fall somewhere in between - some transitions are easy, others take a bit more effort.

Regardless of how we handle them, transitions - or change - are inevitable! This time of year, autumn, is perfect for looking within to study our inner workings, the "how" of who we are.  Everything around us is changing.  The glorious colors of the leaves, the animals scurrying around for acorns, kids back in school, holidays of all faiths and temperatures cooling off.  We can look within at our own inner workings not for judgement or making ourselves feel the need to be different, but for understanding. With this kind of deep looking we can gain an insight into how we work, our own process so that when we are confronted with a transition, big or small, we can be prepared for how we might handle it.  And often times, when we look deeply like this, changes within naturally occur. 

When looking inward, we can take note of the following:

1. Thoughts - what thoughts are present 
2. Feelings - what are the emotions present
3. Body sensations - what kind of physical reaction do I get and where in the body
4. Logic - what does the pragmatic side say
5. Gut instinct - what is intuition saying

These five aspects are perfect for making decisions but also work wonders just as an exercise in getting to know ourselves, who we are and how we function in the day to day.

As the windy, cool weather comes we may feel pushed to move forward fast and furious with events, kids, friends, family while we may also notice a heavier, slower, snuggle-on-the-couch energy creeping in.  I've written this post about how to keep yourself balanced as this season progresses and now we can take stock of how we are transitioning by looking within. 

Breathe. Smile. Look. Transition.

The photo for this post is from James Barker on Free Digital Photos.

Preparing For Our Breaking Point

When I reach my breaking point, sometimes I don't feel like there is any valid "reason" for it.  I just feel plain terrible and have this feeling in me that nobody should feel happy if I'm feeling so miserable.  Or I feel an irrational sense of control towards those around me.  Wednesday, December 28th, those who crossed my path were innocent victims to the seething anger I was feeling.  I had lost control of this emotion and despite all my attempts to be mindful, I felt such an overwhelming sense of frustration that I couldn't hear my own mindfulness bell. There is a feeling I get when I know I should make another choice, when I know I should let go and change my current course but on Wednesday, I wasn't listening to it and pushed it aside, clinging to my hurt and frustration.  I even left the house and tried to calm myself in nature.  This helped a little but there was something in me that was rigid, firm, unbending and unwilling to compromise.  It wasn't until after raising my voice at my sweet little girl and seeing the fear in her eyes that I began to soften.  I remember having that same fear and disappointment when I was yelled at as a child and it had such a severe affect on me.  I vowed I would never do it to my own child.  And here I was, again.  It has been very few times but they are there.  My highest self may be present when I have these outbursts but she's not in the driver's seat.  It felt more like the child in me who needed to be heard and listened to was behind the wheel, making all the decisions.  The biggest problem is that I am not a child anymore and must find it within me to be the adult, functioning from my highest self.

I do believe that repair is critical after moments like the one I had on the 28th but I don't think it's enough.  Or we could walk around treating people terribly and then apologize and think that's ok to do over and over again.  I am determined to work on myself and look into my core to see what it is that is brewing inside of me so I can have a deeper understanding and make the changes I need to.  This might be through therapy, healing on a physical level or noting if lunar-menstrual cycles have anything to do with it and plan accordingly... awareness of self, mindfulness of self.  Preparing myself for the moments when I am unable to hear the mindfulness bell.

I have been repairing with my daughter for the last few days, being kind and attentive but not giving in to our regular rules.  Trying to be more understanding when she acts out, who knows, maybe she's imitating my own behavior.  She is a vivid mirror.  I am trying to breathe into the sensations I have within me to see where they are coming from and how I can move forward so that I can minimize and ultimately eliminate these breakdowns in mindfulness. It doesn't mean I won't get angry or have these feelings again, but I don't want to inflict pain on those I love.

I remind myself of my imperfection.  I take responsibility for my actions.  I breathe into my core being and promise to do my best.

Breathe. Smile. Understand Yourself. Have Patience.

The photo for this post if from Graur Codrin's profile on Free Digital Photos.

Looking Within

Those of you who know me well know that I tend to have a lot of energy, love running all over the place and have a hard time sitting still. When I lived in California, my roommate, Karla, and I had an outdated Thich Nhat Hanh calendar with 12 of his precious quotes next to beautiful nature scenes. We decided to put them up around our apartment. She selected one in particular that she thought needed to go in my room, by my bed, so I could read it multiple times a day. It is as follows:

"In daily life, there is so much to do and so little time. You may feel pressured to run. Learn to stop! Touch the present moment and you will touch peace and joy."

I can't tell you how true this is for me and for most of us! But especially those of us with even a little bit of extrovert in us or with a super strong social bug or those of us with children to look after.

I felt inspired today to discuss looking within because here in Atlanta we're having a nice rainy holiday that lends itself to staying in and slowing down. There are so many ways we can do this. We can make a cup of tea and practice tea meditation which essentially means applying deep mindfulness to every step of making and drinking the tea. Noticing and appreciating all the smells, sounds and tastes associated with the process. We could also tend to areas of our house that need our attention but doing so not with the end goal of cleaning it or getting it organized but with the goal of focusing on the process, our own personal process for doing things, becoming aware of how we approach a task and simultaneously applying mindfulness to it. We could also take time to journal about pertinent topics/issues/feelings in our life that we may need to understand more deeply to understand how we can resolve them. And of course, there is always good ole regular sitting meditation in a quiet space where you can hear the rain (if you're in the Atlanta area) or just hear the natural sounds around you. There are an endless number of ways we can look within, these are just a few ideas that came to me. I'm feeling inspired to think of more!

I mentioned in an earlier post how it's especially important to stay in and look within when we are having a rough day or dealing with a particularly difficult issue. This is very true and I think some of the above mentioned ideas for assisting us to look within can very much help us to calm our minds so we can see our feelings or issue more clearly. It is when we have calmed our mind and body that we can see the most clearly, understand our role in a situation or understand how we can make things better. Even when we do our best, we will make mistakes but we can always come back to our process for calming so that we can pick ourselves back up and try again.

I also believe that looking within is a very important "tool" for regular practice, even when things are going wonderfully. Perhaps even more important to practice when things are going well so that we can remember the positive, have it embed itself more deeply into the core of our existence. It is with this focus on the positive that we begin to water the seeds that we wish to have flourish so we have a beautiful garden growing within us. With a well nourished inner garden we can feel that inner beauty and joy we all seek to find... Don't forget, we need not seek that beauty and joy from anywhere else but within. We all have the capacity for joy and happiness and peace - we just need to care for it, nourish it, love it and trust it and it will grow into the most beautiful garden giving us the opportunity to be the person we most desire to be, so each day our presence is like giving the people around us a bouquet of flowers! :-)

Breath. Look. Smile. Understand. Process. Within.

The photo for this post is from the Prozac1 profile on free digital photos.