Letting Go, Beginning a New

With the passage of time throughout our life, we may hold on deeply to past events and memories, the good and the bad. We hold on to them because they are familiar and what we’ve always known.

There are many reasons that we hold on to our past. Perhaps we do it out of fear of what is happening in the present moment or it's because of our anxiety for what will come in the future. Maybe we are gripping on to the past because letting go of it might mean facing an old demon or facing something big, new and unknown.  Some of us hold on to the past because we believe it defines us. Letting go might open us to something new. That newness might include a change or an evolution of ourselves that we have somehow come to believe we cannot face, that we aren't worthy of or that we just can't handle. It feels safer and easier to hold on to the old. And when we hold on, we do so with a white knuckle grip, defending the past like a wolf guarding it's pack.

As we hold on to the old, we begin to clench mentally and physically. Our mind and thinking may become rigid and inflexible. Even how we hold and carry our body may tighten and we may even begin to have physical pain or reactions that come from our mental holdings.

Take a moment to consider how you may be holding onto a specific memory or event. See the memory clearly. Try to feel the grip you have on it in your mind, what are your thoughts about this memory. Notice if you feel yourself tightening anywhere physically as you think about this memory.  Breathe into the tightness and allow it to soften, exhale and envision yourself letting go. Inhale, soften. Exhale, release.

Now, think about how you might be different if you were to let go of this oldness. Allow yourself to say, "This memory happened to the 'me' of the past, it may have shaped some behaviors or thought patterns, but it is not the core of ME. It happened to me, but I am not this memory."  We can also do this with present feelings that come up. Any feeling we have is NOT us. We feel it, very strongly at times, but it passes. We are still us, with or without our feelings or attachments to past memories and events.

Letting go doesn't mean forgetting or ignoring. It means we look very deeply at the past, we acknowledge it but we don't allow the memories in our mind to dictate who we are and how we must be. We are capable of letting go while also honoring the past as one of our greatest teachers. A teacher who shows us what works and what doesn't.  When we let go, we make space. When we make space, we can begin a new. When we begin a new, we give ourselves permission to start again. With each sunrise, we can begin a new. With each moment, we can begin a new. With each breath, we can begin a new.

Breathe. Soften. Let Go. Begin a New.

The image in this post is from Evgeni Dinev's profile on Free Digital Photos.

The Yoga Ni-Yamas: Santosa and Svadhyaya

This week for my yoga training we have been assigned to choose one of the five niyamas in yoga, or internal practices of observation/ethical practices of guidance.

I had a hard time choosing just one, so I've chosen two.  The first is Santosa, contentment.  I think it is often difficult to feel true contentment.  We are often inundated with distractions, pressures, desires, etc that push us to want more things, keep our calendars packed with activities and succumb to instant gratification.  I am definitely guilty!  Santosa reminds us that not only should we be content with the joyous and beautiful parts of our lives but also with the difficulties we face as they are an integral part.  There is constant change in our lives, even if we somehow maintain a facade of keeping everything the same, it's really constantly changing!  And often times these changes can be challenging.  These difficult things that come into our lives are lessons of some sort.  Something that we need to look at and ask, what do I need to learn from this?  It could be a lesson about ourselves, about our relationship, about our job, about our home or any number of things.  In the end, if we are clear of mind we can see from more than one perspective and can learn and evolve from our life events, remaining content. Then we are practicing Santosa.

The second one that I have chosen is Svadhyaya, study of one's self.  I saw this interpreted on a couple of sites as not only study of one's self but study of spiritual texts.  I'd like to focus on the study of one's self.  I think this goes in line with the yama I discussed last time on truth, Satya.  I think in order to be truthful, we must study ourselves or look deeply at ourselves, our thoughts, words, actions and behaviors.  If we can understand ourselves, then we can begin to see the world and reality around us clearly.  I have recently had a difficult time looking at the core of my feelings and understanding where they're coming and why.  Of course, as I have shared before, I feel meditation is as a method for looking at ourselves deeply but I think that we can also do this all day long as we apply mindfulness to our daily lives.  Taking a few seconds to check in with ourselves throughout the day or when eventful things happen and then setting aside a longer time to reflect on things we've thought, felt, done or seen.  And the key when we reflect is to set aside all judgement, it is pure observation.  We can decide that there are some things we'd like to try to understand more deeply that perhaps we would like to change, but the goal isn't change so much as it is understanding ourselves.  I think that if we can see what's going on inside, then we can understand it and through understanding, any change needed should happen freely and easily...

Be content. Be Inquisitive. See Deeply. Love. Breathe!

The photo for this post is from Michelle Meiklejohn's portfolio on Free Digital Photo's.

Learn to Stop

"In daily life, there is so much to do and so little time.  You may feel pressure to run.  Learn to stop! Touch the present moment and you will touch peace and joy" - Thich Nhat Hanh

I know for a fact I have blogged about this quote before but it seems quite apropos right now with the bustling of friends and family and presents and parties... which I LOVE!  I love being with the people I love, friends and family.  I love planning activities, menus - especially the sweet treats involved, though I often make the healthy, gluten free, low glycemic version.  But what I always forget is how exhausting it can be too, especially if we don't take time to recharge - also something that I've written about many times.  


Now, right now, during the holidays it may seem impossible to slow down, especially if there are multiple young children involved in the festivities but I am trying to do two things.  When I'm in a social gathering to relieve myself of any pressures (self-imposed or otherwise) to do too much or go beyond my capacity.  And it takes being fully present in the moment, the second thing I'm trying to do, to stay aware of any self-imposed pressures to do too much, or to be aware of when I've reached my limit and to know when, where and how to STOP and let go.  Even if for a short moment, so that I can release the pressure that been building up, unwind even just a little, and recharge for the rest of the holiday festivities! 


Whatever holiday you are or are not celebrating these last few days of 2011, I wish you peace, joy and a beautiful present moment!


Breathe. Smile. Stop. Laugh. Wink. Exhale. Enjoy!


The photo in this post is from Chris Sharp's portfolio on Free Digital Photos.

Looking Within

Those of you who know me well know that I tend to have a lot of energy, love running all over the place and have a hard time sitting still. When I lived in California, my roommate, Karla, and I had an outdated Thich Nhat Hanh calendar with 12 of his precious quotes next to beautiful nature scenes. We decided to put them up around our apartment. She selected one in particular that she thought needed to go in my room, by my bed, so I could read it multiple times a day. It is as follows:

"In daily life, there is so much to do and so little time. You may feel pressured to run. Learn to stop! Touch the present moment and you will touch peace and joy."

I can't tell you how true this is for me and for most of us! But especially those of us with even a little bit of extrovert in us or with a super strong social bug or those of us with children to look after.

I felt inspired today to discuss looking within because here in Atlanta we're having a nice rainy holiday that lends itself to staying in and slowing down. There are so many ways we can do this. We can make a cup of tea and practice tea meditation which essentially means applying deep mindfulness to every step of making and drinking the tea. Noticing and appreciating all the smells, sounds and tastes associated with the process. We could also tend to areas of our house that need our attention but doing so not with the end goal of cleaning it or getting it organized but with the goal of focusing on the process, our own personal process for doing things, becoming aware of how we approach a task and simultaneously applying mindfulness to it. We could also take time to journal about pertinent topics/issues/feelings in our life that we may need to understand more deeply to understand how we can resolve them. And of course, there is always good ole regular sitting meditation in a quiet space where you can hear the rain (if you're in the Atlanta area) or just hear the natural sounds around you. There are an endless number of ways we can look within, these are just a few ideas that came to me. I'm feeling inspired to think of more!

I mentioned in an earlier post how it's especially important to stay in and look within when we are having a rough day or dealing with a particularly difficult issue. This is very true and I think some of the above mentioned ideas for assisting us to look within can very much help us to calm our minds so we can see our feelings or issue more clearly. It is when we have calmed our mind and body that we can see the most clearly, understand our role in a situation or understand how we can make things better. Even when we do our best, we will make mistakes but we can always come back to our process for calming so that we can pick ourselves back up and try again.

I also believe that looking within is a very important "tool" for regular practice, even when things are going wonderfully. Perhaps even more important to practice when things are going well so that we can remember the positive, have it embed itself more deeply into the core of our existence. It is with this focus on the positive that we begin to water the seeds that we wish to have flourish so we have a beautiful garden growing within us. With a well nourished inner garden we can feel that inner beauty and joy we all seek to find... Don't forget, we need not seek that beauty and joy from anywhere else but within. We all have the capacity for joy and happiness and peace - we just need to care for it, nourish it, love it and trust it and it will grow into the most beautiful garden giving us the opportunity to be the person we most desire to be, so each day our presence is like giving the people around us a bouquet of flowers! :-)

Breath. Look. Smile. Understand. Process. Within.

The photo for this post is from the Prozac1 profile on free digital photos.

Meditation? When? Where? Yeah right!

So, I was recently asked about meditation techniques and felt a little hypocritical giving them since it's been a super long time since I've actually meditated on a regular basis. Being home with a 2 year old who thinks I've turned into a jungle gym when I lay down on the floor to do some stretches makes any calming, meditative exercise a bit of a challenge. Actually, Anjali has really gotten into trying to do some of the yoga as well but she still loves to jump on her mama when I lie down...

Meditation - just the word can turn some people off, interest others or intimidate or sound extremely "boring." Well, I really like Thich Nhat Hanh's notion of mindfulness and the process of becoming mindful of our every action, thought and feeling. I also really believe that meditation in itself is very important but much more simple and attainable than many think. So, we can practice being mindful (or deeply aware) of our thoughts, feelings and actions when we sit to meditate and then little by little we will begin to carry that mindfulness and the mental calm and clarity with us through out our day to day.

Ok, ok, sounds great but how do I do it? Very simple but hard to find that jump-start motivation to just stop doing anything. We just want to do and do and do. Even now, I feel so excited to sit and do this post while Anjali is sleeping when I could be meditating... the right time will come.

When I am as out of practice as I am right now, I find it best to meditate in a quiet room with the symbols and objects that I connect to on a spiritual level. But there can be meditation without any spiritual connotations, if that isn't something you want or need. Even 5 minutes a day is a great practice of meditating. Make sure when you sit, you are comfortable. You can sit on the floor with a cushion designed for meditation, in a chair or up against a wall. Just be comfortable.

When you sit down, you may want to light a candle or some incense but this may also be distracting or if you have allergies could be bothersome. I will sometimes light a candle as most incense irritates my sinuses these days. Now, here comes the good news. Meditation is NOT about eliminating all thought from the mind. It is more about calming the mind and not getting swept away by all the hundreds of thoughts flowing around in our minds. I can't remember which book I read this from but think of your thoughts as a river current and that normally we are all just being swept away but this current of thoughts. Well, meditation is a process that allows us to swim to the side of the river and sit on the banks and watch the thoughts go by. We notice them, recognize them, deal with them appropriately and then let them float on by. Usually as I am meditating, I try to become aware of the random sounds I hear and tell myself what they are: "I hear a bird." "I hear the air turning on." To help me from being swept away by the "Oh, I've gotta get laundry detergent when I go to the store today, oh, I can't forget to put in on the list when I'm done meditating, and oh yeah, there's a load of laundry in the washer that I forgot to put in the dryer and I need to get some new sweaters because it'll be fall soon and......." The thoughts go on and on and on don't they? It's like a chain of events that are being played out in our minds. So, if that happens when I'm meditating, as soon as I become mindful of the fact that I've just been swept away by the thought current, I stop, swim to the side of the river and say, thanks thoughts for the ride, but I'm just going to sit here and breathe in and out and I'll attend to you when I'm done. So, we're not going to ignore the things we need to do but we don't want the thoughts of them to carry us away on a nervous current of "oh my I have so much to do."

Be patient with yourself but continue to push yourself to face challenges, whatever they may be.

Be mindful, breathe in, breathe out. Smile. :-)